War and Relationships
The truth is, you have to play games, strategic, well planned war games for your relationship to work. For those of you gasping about, loyalty, trust, and partnership. Go ahead and gasp again because this is the truth like it or not. The only way to have loyalty and partnership is to plan well and be two steps ahead of him. And trust. Wake up people, it does not exist really. You may be confident that your man wont cheat on you or lie to you, but fully trusting another human being. It does not happen. You can never fully and completely trust someone who has free will and flaws just like you do. So learn the game or ride in the back of the car sweetie.
You should not try to be a good arguer so you can win all your squabbles. No you should be a good arguer to keep them from happening in the first place. There is a fine line between love and hate, just like there is an even finer line between happy and mad. You have to learn to get your point across without pissing him off. If you can do this you will have a happy relationship. You have to be right and you have to stump him psychologically.
If after you have argued your point he is staring back at you dumb founded you have done your job well. The trick to having a good relationship is knowing how to walk across the mine field without blowing up. If normally during a disagreement you would instantly start screaming and loudly dropping things. Don’t do that this time, switch it up. Do the unexpected. This time be calm, completely calm and rational sounding, even if you’re not. It will scare the hell out of him.
Bitching! Yes I said it and I’m sure at one point or another someone has accused you of doing it; probably your man. Sometimes I think they really believe we get up in the morning and say “what can I bitch about today. Wow I am so excited, such a long list of things to bitch about today.” like we look forward to it. Wake up guys we hate bitching. Quit doing stupid things and we will quit bitching. Most guys do it more than we do. The trick in your relationship is learning a different way to bitch. A fun way to do it.
Smile and wave! If you have even an ounce of Bia running through you. You know exactly what smile and wave is. For those of you in the nose bleed section, this is when you hate that girl and just to piss her off more or make her think she does not bother you one bit,yYou smile and wave; instead of giving the stink eye or shooting the bird. The next step of smile and wave is what I call nice bitchology. If you are a nice bitch you have a super human ability. And this is it. You have the ability to smile and tell someone what a low down, dirty skank she is at the same time smiling and complementing her. When the conversation is over you leave her standing there just now realizing she was told off. This may cause open month sideways thinking eyes syndrome. It’s funny as hell though. You may need to use the smile and wave or the nice bitch tactic in your relationship too.
For example; he’s having his monthly man cycle today. You don’t want to argue, it’s the last things you want to do, but he keeps pissing you off. . You’re trying to get him in a better mood before going to visit mom. He’s being a turd because he’s tired, the games on, and the last thing he wants to do is go visit the in-laws. He thinks if he is a jerk you will get mad and have an argument and then storm out. Why because you don’t want him over there acting like a butt head. Little secret… he knows this too. So instead do this and his ticket to stay home and watch the game will go up in flames.
Instead of giving in to the argument and screaming what’s your problem jack wagon. Simply switch gears, all the sudden, be the nicest most loving wife or girlfriend in the entire world. Go make him a fresh cold drink, smile and flirt with him like you have no idea he is in a piss poor mood. Then as soon as he lets his guard down and starts to enjoy this rare you, slip it in, backwards if you have too. Instead of telling him that if he wouldn’t have gotten up at five to go hunting this morning or hanging with the boys last night he wouldn’t be so damn grouchy
Smile and sit beside him. Carefully bring up the incident that led to his grouchy mood. Don’t let him even realize this is an argument. Talk about his early morning hunting trip and act interested. Let him tell you the exciting details or what crazy ass tom did since his guards down now. Then even more carefully talk about what you did while he was gone “little jack did the funnies thing, and then I had to do this and this. While you were gone.” Keep the smile “I’m tired but, its ok.” stand up “I’m glad you had fun on your trip and I know you’re so tired too and you don’t want to go to my mom’s, but when we get home we can both kick back together.” Little kiss “let me fill your drink back up Hun, here is your shirt” walk away and smile to yourself because he’s in there trying to figure out what exactly just happened and desperately searching for another way to get out of it.
Warning I am not an expert, but i hate arguing and just want to enjoy my life. If you feel the same follow steps a through c and remember, winning an argument is not half as fun as getting your way. So quit fighting. You love your man or you wouldn’t be there. Do the work to avoid the argument. It’s not healthy to hold in your feelings, but sometimes you have to because it’s not healthy to scream all the time either. Later when you’re both in a good mood. Talk to each other like you’re talking to your best friend. Be a friend to him too. Even if that means listing to that stupid joke again. When it comes to disagreements be smart not phsycho. Learn to hold in some of things that piss you off. Store those things in your arsenal and twist them to make your relationship work instead of making it fall apart when all those little things add up. And if he’s one of those guys on a permanent man cycle or suffers from can’t get right disorder move on. Life is too short to be mad all the time.